3.10.2008

Rule #455 Never let anyone else define what motherhood is.

I have a new favorite show, on my old favorite television station. It is called Secret Life of a Soccer Mom. The program gives stay at home moms the opportunity to see what their life would be like if they persuaded the careers they had before deciding to be a stay at home mom.

I have two children, my eldest is 2 and my youngest is 7 months. When I found out I was pregnant for my first child I was in route to law school so I often ponder the "what if" conundrum.

The first episode I watched a mom followed her dream to become a fashion designer. She had 3 young daughters and decided at the end of the show that she would accept the opportunity to become a working mom designer. I felt this huge "you go girl moment". After the show I felt so validated in my decision to go back to work.

The episode I watched tonight a mother of two young boys decided to forsake her career goals of becoming a gourmet chief and stay at home with her children. Once again I felt a huge "you go girl moment". And I still felt validated for being a working mother.

I have decided, after much thought, it comes down to the good old saying "to each their own". I am a great mom. I am a great employee. And I am fantastic at doing both, because I WANT both. I am tired of reading mommy blogs where the war between stay at home moms and working moms becomes so glaringly obvious. I will always say that being a stay at home mom is the hardest and most under paid and, in most cases, under appreciated career choice in the world. I have great respect for women who decide to be stay at home moms. But it is a decision.

Just like I look at other working moms in awe. I work with a girl who has two young boys and I am in constant amazement of how she finds the time to work full time, get home, cook dinner, get those boys bathed and in bed, keep an immaculately clean house all while her husband is in medical school. But then again, she has also made a decision.

So I would like to put an end to the mommy debate of what is better for a child, whether to stay at home, to work from home or to go back to work. In the end it is all about respecting yourself and your partner enough to make a cohesive decision as to what is best for you family and supporting ALL people in the decisions they make for their lives.

It is my humble opinion that children will thrive because they parents are thriving. If you want to be a stay at home mom then you go girl. You be the best stay at home mommy in the world! And if you decide to re-enter the work force then you should be the best mommy working mommy in the world. Because in the end, we are all up to our necks in poop, burnt dinners, and dirty clothes. It does not matter who you are or what you do being a parent is never easy. What matters at the end of the day is putting your head on that pillow and knowing that you are being the best parent you can be. After all, isn't that what it is all about.

1 comment:

Miss Dante' said...

wow. well said. point well taken...i feel ya.